Welcome Back...

Kind of anyway... I decided to blog today because I haven't been back here in such a long time. Actually the idea come about when I had a conversation with another friend about our friendship. It led us to reminisce and look through our old blogs. Let's just say it made me shake my head seeing how silly and retarded I was. I feel like ever blog was me just cursing up a storm and complainning about how bored I was in class. I did most of my blogging at school. It helped pass the time.

I find it hard to blog about something nowadays. I can't exactly write about life because I wouldn't know where to begin, but at the same time I wouldn't really want to put my own life on blast. Back in high school it was easy to write about something because it really didn't matter. At least one person would know something about you and it wasn't like we were trying to hide anything. I feel like back then it was all about who was linked to who, and how many comments you got. It's ridiculously silly.

If I had to compare the me then and the me now... I really like the me now. The person that I was back then was a bit egotistic (or at least thats how I feel for the most part after rereading a few posts) I can honestly say that I have grown in a good person. Though at times I do find myself in a limbo of confusion, I've turned out ok. For some odd reason I am at a loss again. It's strange that about 2 years ago I had found a better me. I happier me, but now I am stuck. A pause if you will... At this point in my life I am still searching for peace of mind, but as I continue onward, my journey is nothing more than a beginning for more better things. Sounds epic, I know... It's really not though. It's more like me just trying to finish school and yea... It sounded WAY better before I actually spilled the beans or whatever you call it.

I might come back more often... I might not. I can promise this much: No matter how much I call xanga stupid and diss it for being old school, I will never turn my back on it. I've "meet" (not really meet, but spoken too alot) some really awesome people here. I've made awesome long lasting friendships on xanga and I'm not about to abandon it for some lame new site (facebook, twitter, etc...) There's nothing more for me to say. It's about time for me to head out anyway, so good night all...

Status:  nonchalant

Currently Cosmicandy By The Orion Experience see related

Damn You Fat Kids

Why is it that fat kids and their fat parents always tend to ruin fun things for the resst of us not so fat people? Apparently Happy Meals are now illegal in Santa Clara County just because the parents feel like McDonald's "toys" are the reason why they're kids are fat. Really moms and dads? You think it's the toys that are making your kids fat? That's so ridiculous. How is it the parents never want to take the blame for having fat kids? As parents aren't you the ones that are suppose to prove your children with healthy snacks and what not? No, of course not. McDonald's, Burger King, and other fast good restaurants can do that for me because I'm a fat lazy adult myself. Even with the "healthy" choices provided for the parents to choose from, it's still the restaurants fault for making my kids fat. Wow parents... Just wow... Stupid parents are always looking for ways to not take the blame for their own problem.

http://news.yahoo.com/video/business-15749628/where-happy-meals-are-illegal-19362009

Currently Hood Nigga Diaries By Gorilla Zoe see related

Just Around the Corner

Xmas is just around the corner guys!!!! Yay??? I just finished my killer finals so for the next week I'll be relaxing until my Winter Intersession classes start. I don't think it was the brightest idea I've ever had, but there you go. I'm taking no breaks. I'm going to be going to school none stop. I figure this is the quickest way to finish school. UGH!!! Why the hell is this taking forever?

So as the year gets closer and closer to the end, I look back and review what has happened. I must say I think I only accomplished 2 things on my New Year's Resolution list, which is pretty good for me because that was a very long list. I haven't exactly decide what I want to do for this coming year, but I'll figure it out the closer it gets (as if this wasn't close enough) Anyhoo... I think I grew up this year. It's a good thing, don't worry. I've become more knowledgeable and I understand things a lot better too. There are still some questions unanswered, but it's best that they aren't. It keeps the mystery alive. I feel a bit more independent and at the same time I don't feel as accomplished as I would like. I know that in the end everything will pay off, so for now I'll just cross my fingers.

There's really nothing else for me to say. I'm excited that the Xmas dinner is coming up. I think that's about it. Hahaha...

PS: Everyone is about to celebrate the new BLACK princess for Disney. I find that great and all, but seriously guys... It's only a Disney character in the end. Also there's something called "Cyber Bullying." I saw it on the news. I find this the most ridiculous story ever. Are you people kidding me? "Cyber Bullying?" As if you people can't bully in real life, in person? OK, so the story goes is that this junior in high school hung herself because someone was bullying her... FROM THE INTERNET!!!! Basically leaving rude comments on this girl's myspace or facebook or whatever hip new online networking shit we have nowadays. She was rescued, but "sadly" she ended up with brain damage. On the news all these students, parents, and teachers were saying how "We should put an end to bullying. It can lead to the victim's demise." This must be a fucking joke because if these damn kids can't deal with their own problems and turn to killing themselves as a solution then just let them. Those kids don't deserve to fucking live anyway. I mean, look at that girl now. She's a fucking retard now. If those bullies were laughing at her for being a fucking whore, then they're surely to keep laughing at her now for her stupidity. Now don't get me wrong, I hate seeing kids get bullied by other kids, but damn kid at least TRY to stand up for yourself. Shit... Maybe I'm more apathetic about things. How does this story make you feel? To me... Stupid all the way... But that's just me.

Miracles Do Come True

Holy Shit Fuck!!! My brother and I are talking again. We're back to normal again... WHAT THE FUCK!!!! Last week I found this scroll on my bed. It was a painting. My brother had gotten it for me. The next day, he came home with food. He had offered me some, but I had already eaten. Lastly, we actually started talking. Like an actual conversation... That was so odd to me, but I didn't take my chances. He and I are back... He finally gave in and forgave me. Its funny how he and I show affection to each other... He don't really apologize nor do we hand things to each other (unless it's food)... We kind of just leave it in the other person's room and you just know... It's best that we don't bring up the past anymore. I'm just glad he and I are talking again.

Unfortunately my bestest friend and I have reached a wall in our on-going friendship. It has something to do with a guy. No, no... We both don't like him or anything like that. Well... She has feelings for him and so does he. I have nothing against that really... I think the only thing I have against it is that he's always there. Now before I really didn't mind because we were all just friends, but after a few months he told her how he felt and in the end she started feeling the same way about him too. Now he's ALWAYS THERE!!! I've told her this too. She asked whether or not he was going to ruin our friendship and honestly I don't know. Usually when I have feelings for someone I bring him around a couple of times, but I don't expect him to be my new best bud or anything like that. It gets annoying. If there's an event or anything yea sure I'll bring him, but if not then he better find his own friends to hang out with. Anyway... She brought him along when I wanted to go to the doctor's... I wasn't too happy on that. She said that it didn't matter because he didn't really care... It wasn't the fact that he cared, it was the fact that I did and that she didn't even bother to think how I felt. As of recently she's been getting on my nerves. She and I never fought or argued much in the passed... Why now? Is it because she and I haven't gotten into a fight? Or is it really because of that guy? She asked me if I missed just it being her and me, but I'm not the kind of person to admit something like that... She knows though... She told me that she was going to make some changes. So far, nothing...

I'm also getting tired of juggling 10 guys. If anything I just want to be with one person. I think I'm ready to settle down with one person. I miss having someone there now. The holiday seasons are coming and well... I wouldn't mind being with someone. I want to be happy. I enjoy being single and doing th single thing, but at the same time I miss out on the couple thing too. UGH... Am I asking for too much? All the guys that I am talking to don't exactly catch my interest (why do you think I'm flinging 10 other guys?) I'll figure something out sooner or later...

Talent Acknowledged

Sujjy, I'm so with you. Being single is the most amazing feeling EVER!!! You get to do whatever you want with out the consquences. I like that... Knowing me, I would get myself into some sort of trouble. I tend to juggle my men when I'm single and I must say I am quite good at it. My best friend tells me that she already as a hard time juggling two men. Me, no way... It's a talent I guess. A gift. There you go... I am gifted in julgging people and their emotions. How do I do it? I can't exactly say, but don't think that I'm a fucking slut or whore. I'm not. It's not like I'm giving anything up. Anyhoo... All this might seem amazing and most people do fantasize about it, but this isn't the kind of life style to get use to. I get kind of bored of it. Yea, I know right? I do get bored of all the attention. It's gotten to the point where I need the attention. I can't handle not being the light at the end of their tunnel. Not saying that I'm in desperate need of it, but I notice that all in all this is like a silly little game to me. I lay out my grounds, fish, catch my bait, then keep them until I tire of their presents. I leave guys when they start to get too close and the cycle starts all over again. As glorious as all this is, I do get lonely. I want to be able to settle and just have that one guy that knows everything about me, and is capable of keeping my interest. That's the disappointing apart in this entire cycle of life. I have a hard time finding a guy interesting enough for me to come back again. It's mostly them coming to me. Kind of sad don't you think?

Anyway... I'm starting to get a bit annoyed with my best friend. For the pass year or so she and I never argued or fought over anything. She and I actually hang out everyone and has never gotten tired of each other. Well... As of recent she has been getting on my nerves. I can't help it. I don't know what it is about her, but certain things that she does just pisses me off. Has that ever happen to anyone before? Their best friend that they've never fought with starts annoying the living shit out of you? I haven't really told her anything because I figure it's just one of those things where its not a big deal. I usually get over it anyway so ehhh... We'll just see what happens from here.

School is driving me crazy and it just started. My head's in the clouds and I'm not as focused as I want to be. I have an intchin' for fun, but it's time to focus. I've been going to school this entire time and now I want to have some fun. I don't know... Maybe I'm asking for too much. Oh well...Time for bed. I just wanted to put that out there...